Joe:
You may be a wise and intelligent man,
A genius type of Joe—
But if a dumb tomato comes after you,
You’ll forget whatever you know.

You can dodge a stick or a stone,
You can duck a punch when it’s thrown,
But you can’t get away from a dumb tomato
When she wants you for her own.

Men:
You can dodge a stick or a stone,
You can duck a punch when it’s thrown,
But you can’t get away from a dumb tomato
When she wants you for her own!

Joe:
You may be a good and respectable man,
No cards, no gin, no rum—
But if a wild tomato comes after you,
She will turn you into a bum.

You can dodge a bill when it’s due,
You can duck a flying lassoo—
But you can’t get away from a wild tomato
When she throws herself at you.

Men:
You can dodge a bill when it’s due,
You can duck a flying lassoo—

Joe:
But you can’t get away from a ripe tomato
When she throws herself at you.

Men:
Man, you’re through,
There is nothing you can do
When they throw their curves at you!