Rodgers & HammersteinPal Joey

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Lyrics By Lorenz Hart  Music By Richard Rodgers

While interviewing Joey about his grand opening, reporter Melba Snyder is unphased, revealing the trade secrets she once learned from renowned stripper Gypsy Rose Lee.




I’ve interviewed Leslie Howard,
I’ve interviewed Noël Coward,
I’ve interviewed the great Stravinsky,
But my greatest achievement is the interview I had
With the star who worked for Minsky.

I met her at the Yankee Clipper
And she didn’t unzip one zipper.
I said, “Miss Lee, you are such an artist,
Tell me why you never miss.
What do you think of while you work?”
And she said, “While I work
My thoughts go something like this:”

Zip! Walter Lippman wasn’t brilliant today.
Zip! Will Saroyan ever write a great play?
Zip! I was reading Schopenhauer last night.
Zip! And I think that Schopenhauer was right.
I don’t want to see Zorina,
I don’t want to meet Cobina.
Zip! I’m an intellectual.
I don’t like a deep contralto,
Or a man whose voice is alto.
Zip! I’m a heterosexual.
Zip! It took intellect to master my art.
Zip! Who the hell is Margie Hart?

Zip! I consider Dali’s painting passe.
Zip! Can they make the Metropolitan pay?
Zip! English people don’t say clerk, they say clark.
Zip! Anybody who says clark is a jark!
I have read the great Cabala,
And I simply worship Allah.
Zip! I am just a mystic.
I don’t care for Whistler’s Mother,
Charlie’s Aunt, or Shubert’s brother.
Zip! I’m misogynistic.
Zip! My intelligence is guiding my hand.
Zip! Who the hell is Sally Rand?

Zip! That Stokowski leads the greatest of bands.
Zip! Jergen’s Lotion does the trick for his hands.
Zip! Rip Van Winkle on the screen would be smart.
Zip! Tyrone Power will be cast in the part.
I adore the great Confucius,
And the lines of luscious Lucius.
Zip! I am so eclectic.
I don’t care for either Mickey –
Mouse and Rooney make me sicky.
Zip! I’m a little hectic.
Zip! My artistic taste is classic and choice –
Zip! Who the hell’s Rosita Royce?