Vera:
Just two little lovebirds all alone
In a little cozy nest
With a little secret telephone,
That's the place to rest.

Joey:
Artificial roses ‘round the door –
They are never out of bloom –

Vera:
And a flowered carpet on the floor
In the loving room.

Both:
In our little den of iniquity
Our arrangement is good.

Vera:
It's much more healthy living here;
This rushing back home is bad, my dear,

Joey:
I haven't caught a cold all year.

Vera:
Knock on wood!

Both:
It was ever thus, since antiquity,
All the poets agree.

Vera:
The chambermaid is very kind,
She always thinks we're so refined.

Joey:
Of course, she's deaf and dumb and blind –

Both:
No fools, we –
In our little den of iniquity.

In our little den of iniquity
For a girly and boy,

Vera:
We'll sit and let the hours pass,
A canopy bed has so much class,

Joey:
And so's a ceiling made of glass –
Oh, what joy!

Both:
Love has been that way since antiquity,
Down to you and me.

Vera:
The radio, I used to hate,
But now when it is dark and late
Tchaikovsky's "1812" sounds great –
That's for me,

Both:
In our little den of iniquity.
Oh, what joy!

Joey:
We're very proper folks, you know.

Vera:
We've separate bedrooms comme il faut.
There's one for play and one for show.

Both:
You chase me
In our little den of iniquity.