“Kansas City” LYRICS

Will:
I got to Kansas City on a Frid’y.
By Sattidy I l’arned a thing or two.
For up to then I didn’t have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin’ to.
I counted twenty gas buggies goin’ by theirsel’s
Almost ev’ry time I tuck a walk.
’Nen I put my ear to a Bell telephone,
And a strange womern started in to talk!

Aunt Eller:
Whut next!

Boys:
Yeah, what?

Will:
Whut next?

Ev’rythin’s up to date in Kansas City.
They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go!
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high—
About as high as a buildin’ orta grow.

Ev’rythin’s like a dream in Kansas City.
It’s better than a magic-lantern show.
Y’ c’n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat,
With ev’ry kind o’ comfort ev’ry house is all complete,
You c’n walk to privies in the rain an’ never wet yer feet—
They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go!

All:
Yes, sir!
They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go!

Will:
Ev’rythin’s up to date in Kansas City.
They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go!
They got a big theayter they call a burleekew.
Fer fifty cents you c’n see a dandy show.

One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty,
As round above as she was round below.
I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel,
But later in the second act, when she began to peel,
She proved that ev’rythin’ she had was absolutely real—
She went about as fur as she could go!

All:
Yes,sir!
She went about as fur as she could go!